Expand Your Nervous System
What I didn’t realize 10 years ago, was that my decision to slow down and go inward was nervous system work. Now that there is more information about the nervous system circling about on podcasts, Instagram, and blogs, it’s easier for me to see what I was internally called to do so many years ago after a period of burnout.
To me, it just felt like a natural way to balance the over-doing ~ simply doing less. But what happened was that doing less and truly slowing down my life I was tending to my nervous system. My body was finally able to drop into relax mode - but it did take practice, consistency, and discipline to connect to my mind and body so that inner calm (not just the outer facade) would be a new normal.
What I didn’t realize was that tending my nervous system meant taking an honest look at how or why I was living in fight or flight (or fawn/freeze) mode to begin with.
And so while slowing down and meditating and experiencing those moments of *bliss* was delicious and made me want to do it more often, I didn’t realize that past wounds or struggles or inner conflicts would come knocking on my door.
The beauty was that my body, mind and soul were now in a place to hold these parts of myself, programming, patterns, etc. It was still hard, but I’m grateful I had mindful practices in place to help me.
Then more waves came rolling in that would knock me out of this state. I noticed how old patterns of overdoing, worry, perfectionism, and shame would creep back in. I noticed old hurts resurfacing with different players and different dynamics.
This is when it all clicked. I had to return to really slow down and get deep once again. There was no way I could see things from a different perspective, find strength, clarity, or really anything until I tried my very best to slow down.
What is so difficult about these situations is that they dig up so much in you that you can barely even *think* about slowing down let alone take purposeful action. I remember trying to meditate during a period of intense turmoil and just having angry thoughts run through my mind the entire time.
That’s why having a consistent inward practice can be so impactful. Because in moments when we are swept off our feet, we have little habits that we can land on. Even if the practices aren’t perfect or doing “work” all the time - they are still working. And little by little, we can expand our nervous system to hold what is coming up for us - it’s sort of like a parent holding a screaming crying baby. If that parent is regulated, even though it’s uncomfortable to watch and experience the baby cry, they can allow that baby to have the experience until he or she relaxes and calms down.
The more we can be like the calm, regulated parent, the more we can allow our stuff to surface, and then watch it dwindle.
In my personal opinion, working on the nervous system is one of the ways that we can expand our lives.
I realize that my nervous system is expanded enough to maintain the little life I have created for myself, but if I want to continue to evolve as a person, I need to be able to hold space for experiences, abundance, opportunities, relationships (you name it!) without getting rocked in the process. Therefore, I’m working on expanding my nervous system even more deeply.
I also recognize that simply “slowing down”, “doing less” or adding in calming rituals isn't enough to fully “heal” the reasons why I was living in fight/flight and fawn/freeze mode. It takes heavy self-inquiry to recognize patterns; and the courage to respond to situations differently. I’m still working on this and I’m grateful. My life is full of many beautiful things and I feel blessed.
I’m curious ~ where are you with your nervous system? Do you know what it feels like to live in a relaxed state? Do you feel like you have no time in your day to do things that make you feel relaxed and in flow?
Two truths I believe:
1. slowing down can be scary. It brings up things we haven’t been wanting to see. It makes us face parts of ourselves we may have put in our shadow…
2. slowing down is a way to expand your life, break through fears, and become the person you were meant to be!
It’s time.
Xoxo
Caroline
I’m opening two spots to work with me 1:1 for the next 5 weeks. We will use my “Connect to Clarity” course to guide us. Each week you will receive an email from me with the mini-lesson and journal prompts. And each week we will meet together once for 30 minutes to reflect, ground, and discuss where you are in your process. If it is helpful for you to be guided in meditation or yoga nidra in your 30 minutes, we can do that too. Here for you. Reach out if you are interested!
