blind spots

We all have blind spots. I understand blind spots as parts of self that are typically expressed through a type of behavior or tendency that one is not fully aware of. An example could be someone (or you) who dominates a conversation, constantly over-exerts themselves, never shares his/her opinion, or maybe someone who never disagrees.

There are parts of ourselves we would never dare to look at honestly yet might be clear as day to our loved ones…

What I am curious about is our ability to:

a) observe blind spots in others

b) the graciousness we give to these spots

c) our ability to identify our spots + the grace we give ourselves…

I’m also very intrigued about triggers and how closely, in my opinion, they relate to blind spots. Sometimes triggers feel like a collision of a situation where we are put face to face with a blind spot. It’s a situation where you’re being called to see with love the blind spot of someone else, and/or see with love the blind spot in yourself. You simply can’t see with your eyes/perspective anymore because it’s too painful. The perspective does not allow you to accept or bring something into your heart, so it keeps smacking you in the face.

So if you are struggling with a trigger I believe a few things may be true. First is that there may be a certain shadow trait or expression that this person is bringing forth that is also inside of you. Maybe you don’t like this part of yourself or never express this part of yourself. Therefore, you judge it in someone else. Another thing that may be true is that there has been something going on in the relationship dynamic that you are also a part of - your blind spot - that you are now being forced to look at. What I mean by this is there’s possibly something you are bringing to the table such as an unconscious need to feel in control, keep the peace, or always be selfless. Therefore, when something is triggering within a dynamic, it may force you to look at your blind spot for the first time and potentially change your behavior to show up with love and strength for yourself, which can feel uncomfortable.

While sifting out the blind spots within a given situation can be nuanced, the truth is that we all have these spots. Give yourself grace when you are working through your own. And get curious when other people’s blind spots trigger you. Ask yourself: what about their blind spot is being triggered in me, and/or am I bringing something to the table that is also not aligned with my love for myself?

And know that these moments of hardship might just be the catalyst to feeling more at home and peace in who you are than ever before.

I wonder if life can either be extraordinarily complex or radically simple depending on how we see it.

Be brave, see with Love, and you’ll never be blind.

With love,

Caroline